Joylight 36- ICF Core Competencies

Source – icfheadquarters.blogspot.com

Greetings from Joylight!

Whether or not your coach is ICF certified, ICF Core Competencies serves as a great checklist for you to see if your coach is fulfilling the fundamental requirements of being a professional coach.

Even if you do not already have a coach, it can still serve as a good basis for you to determine the best coach that you can and should find to assist you in achieving your desired outcomes.

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The following eleven core coaching competencies were developed to support greater understanding about the skills and approaches used within today’s coaching profession as defined by the International Coach Federation.

They will also support you in calibrating the level of alignment between the coach-specific training expected and the training you have experienced.

 

Finally, these competencies and the ICF definition were used as the foundation for the ICF Credentialing process examination.

affirmative

The ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

The Core Competencies are grouped into four clusters according to those that fit together logically based on common ways of looking at the competencies in each group.

The groupings and individual competencies are not weighted—they do not represent any kind of priority in that they are all core or critical for any competent coach to demonstrate.

A. Setting the Foundation

1. Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards
2. Establishing the Coaching Agreement

B. Co-creating the Relationship

3. Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client
4. Coaching Presence

C. Communicating Effectively 

5. Active Listening
6. Powerful Questioning
7. Direct Communication

D. Facilitating Learning and Results

8. Creating Awareness
9. Designing Actions
10. Planning and Goal Setting
11. Managing Progress and Accountability

Source – International Coach Federation

More details are available here.

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Thanks for reading.

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ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Joylight 30 – What are the similiarities of counselling and coaching?

Source – atsmedia

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Greetings from Joylight!

Last week, we talked about the differences between counselling and coaching. So I thought today we can have a short post about the similarities between the two. smart-goal-dart-target

Source – leanblitzconsulting

1. Ultimate Goal

Be it counselling or coaching, it is still an active act from the client to move towards development and an increased sense of well-being.

Both share the same empowering idea that positive change is a driving force. (Dianne, 2006)

2. Professional Skills

The professional skills required have much overlaps. The counselor/coach needs to have active listening, questioning, feedback and observational skills. He/she has to build rapport, monitor progress and encourage the client to move forward to his/her desired outcomes.

3. Relationship

The relationship between the coach and the coachee or the counselor and the counseled are of utmost importance. Without rapport and trust, nothing significant can be achieved. The client needs to like the one who is guiding him/her and trust him/her enough to confide and to be led.

4. Commitment

Commitment in both kind of professional relationship is required from all parties involved. If the coach/counselor is not committed, the client has little chance of achieving his/her desired outcomes. Likewise, if the client is not committed, the coach/counselor has no way of assisting the client to achieve what he/she wants because ultimately, it is the client who has to do the real work for results to materialize.

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Hope this together with the previous post will help you gain a greater understanding to what kind of help you or your loved one needs.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session. You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

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RECHARGE 4 – Do It Anyway

Model | www.joyleng.com

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

Outfit | SensUal Wear​

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People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. 
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. 
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. 
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. 
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. 
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. 
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. 
It was never between you and them anyway.

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

 

SoulFul 24 – Why do We Shout in Anger

Source – offoindia

A Hindu saint and his disciples were visiting the Ganges river, where they found a group of family members on the banks shouting in anger at each other. Turning to his disciples, the saint smiled and asked,

‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’

His disciples thought for a while. One of them finally said, ‘Because when we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you?’ countered the saint. ‘You can just as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’

His disciples thought about it some more, but could not come up with a satisfactory answer.

Finally the saint explained,

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other, in order to cover that great distance.

But what happens when two people fall in love?

They don’t shout at each other but instead talk very softly because their hearts are very close.

The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small. And when they love each other even more, what happens?

They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only need to look at each other and that’s all.

That is how close two people are when they love each other.

So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

Source – quora.com

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I find this story very touching. And it does make sense to me. Why do we need to shout at someone who is right beside us? And yet, I have to plead guilty on more than one occasion.

I certainly feel far from connected with the person whenever that happens. It is also always so tempting to react because of all the rush and the strength of the negative emotions erupting inside you.

Also at the moment, the brain screams how justified we are to react the way we are because of what he/she did or said. We lost our own power and become prisoners of external circumstance.

Without will-power and awareness, it will be impossible to attempt to go against your basic instinct.

Still, I have tried. Sometimes I failed.

Then for the first time, I succeeded. I’ve got to say, it felt sooooo good.

There is so much power when you practise self control and be master/mistress of yourself.

Then I succeeded. Again. And then again.

Certainly not easy every time. But it does get easier.

But you must begin.

Try. And fail.

It’s ok.

Then try again.

There is such power in taking the first step.

To personal greatness.

Choose to be kind to yourself. 🙂

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Here’s to your elevation!

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Thanks for reading.

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

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‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

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P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring speaker sharing truths from real life experience.

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

 

SoulFul 23 – An Elephant And The Blind Men

Source – Wordinfo

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Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, “Hey, there is an elephant in the village today.”

They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided, “Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway.” All of them went where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant.

“Hey, the elephant is a pillar,” said the first man who touched his leg.

“Oh, no! it is like a rope,” said the second man who touched the tail.

“Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree,” said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.

“It is like a big hand fan” said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.

“It is like a huge wall,” said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.

“It is like a solid pipe,” Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.

They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and asked them, “What is the matter?” They said, “We cannot agree to what the elephant is like.”

Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to them, “All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features what you all said.”

“Oh!” everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​
​ Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
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Email – me@joyleng.com​
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Joy’s Insights 6 – Lessons from a Woof!

Anyone who have met my furball, sensual, will know how she is simply the best dog in the world.

Ok fine, I am completely biased.  But hey, aren’t all dog owners the same? 🙂

One of the reason why she is the best canine to me is because of the invaluable lessons I have learnt from her. She is a great teacher.

Incredible but true.

SENSUAL’S PAW FOR WISDOM

DSCN4724

1. You don’t need a reason to be happy.

When I first had her, I was very puzzled why she was bouncing around all day long and she will repeat the same happy behaviour every day. I could not understand why she was always so joyful. It was seriously very confusing for me.

Then slowly I realized that she is just that.

Happy.

She did not see the need to find a reason to be happy.

On the contrary, I did! My over-thinking and over stimulated brain needed justification for everything. Yes, including a reason to be happy. Shocking.

DSCN4519

2. I Love You and I will show you how!

If anyone is a mistress of the seven caring habits, that will be none other than sensual. When someone comes home, she will start her maniac race to the door, absolutely wild and delirious. She will run up and down crazily just so that she can come towards you again. Her tail will whip at a 1,000 miles per second.

She will be one crazy ecstatic dog bursting with joy.

As her total behaviour demonstrated, you will have no doubt in your head, you have just exploded her world with love and joy, just because you are home. Can’t deny that makes me feel like a million bucks.

I had to learn that from her, that if you care, you have to show it.
You cannot assume that someone knows that already. And if you have to be a bit more open about it,

you show it.

Everyone wants to feel love and affection.

Unfortunately our Asian mentality keeps us all shy and we find it hard to demonstrate care and concern. I am still working on it. And sensual’s daily behaviour is a handy reminder for me.

SensUal Flowers

3. Good things are worth the wait.

When I head to the kitchen or when I open the fridge, sensual is always on HIGH FOOD ALERT. Even as I sit down to eat, she will sit there and stare at me.

She will wait….

And wait….

And wait….

She will take however long it takes for me to give in.

Until at some point I have to surrender and find something for her on my plate or in her food corner.

Doesn’t matter, her staring demands that she also gets food. And more often than not, yes, she wins.

Good things are worth the wait. Woof!

Indeed, how many times I am so anxious to see results. I will decide on a new habit and after one week, I give up because I feel that I cannot really see much results.

Or I will embark on learning a new skill and decide all too quickly that it was too tedious, time-consuming and whatever excuses I can think of to justify that I should stop doing it.

Patience

Sometimes, that is really all I need.

Sensual is a living furry testimonial to it.

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“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.”
– Josh Billings
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What did you learn from your pet(s)?

Share it with me. 🙂

It’s humbling how much we can learn from them.

Have a happy, loving and patient day ahead. Woof! ;p

Here’s to your elevation!

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Thanks for reading.

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

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‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

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P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring speaker sharing truths from real life experience.

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Joy’s Insights 5 – Learning to say NO

YES                          NO

I never realized that it was a difficult word for me. I am so used to always trying to say yes and when I should say no, chances is I will make excuses. Because for some reason I have it in my head that it is bad to say no and it is rude. Does it feel the same for you?

Recently I had an occasion where I had to say no even though it was something that was generally understood to be a yes from me. But as the situation evolves as it always does, I realized that saying yes is no longer realistic. I will be overwhelmed and unhappy if I give in to a yes. What started out as an adventure was starting to feel like a burden.

I delayed my response and I had a hard time wrestling with myself for a few days as to what my answer should be.

Finally, I decided it has to be a no because my focus is clear and strictly speaking it is not in my priorities at the moment. It is not directly related to my immediate focus.

Also, I feared that if I said yes out of guilt, the days ahead will grow the ‘no’ in my head into a huge, untamable beast where I will then have to bear the ugly consequences.

Which could include a waste of other people’s time and effort.

Most importantly, that can be perceived as a breach of trust and integrity, values that I uphold in my life.

I took a deep breath and replied.

It was a no.

And yes, it came with much explanation. I guess I could not avoid that part.

But at least, it was a new learning experience for me.

That it’s ok to say NO.

This struggle is not unique to me. Even Oprah had great challenges with it. My curiosity started a quick google on this issue and I am comforted at my discovery.

According to TIME, you can die if you don’t learn to say no. From extended stress. So I guess I’m going to say yes! to living another day. 🙂

Fortune recommends to have a 24 hour pause period before accepting any invitation. So it seems like my pause of a few days (albeit longer) to respond was a good idea after all.

I am proud of myself because I think in a way I went inside myself to decide on my response instead of giving a knee-jerk reaction. By doing so, I stayed centred to my priorities and did not give in to external control.

  • Something for you to think about too?
  • Or are you an expert in saying no?

If so, do comment!

I would love to hear your tips and ideas too.

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.

*** How often do you say yes when you meant no? Or say no when you meant yes? Take the free Authentic U Quiz to find out.

P.S. Check out my 17mins podcast interview too at Love Is A Verb. 🙂

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.

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P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

 

SoulFul 17 – Viktor Frankl

Viktor Frankl was a determinist, raised in the tradition of Freudian psychology, which states that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and basically governs your whole life. The limits and boundaries of your life are set, and basically, you can’t do much about it. Frankl was also a psychiatrist and a Jew. He was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany, where he experienced things that were so repugnant to our sense of decency that we shudder to even repeat them.

His parents, his brother, and his wife died in the camps or were sent to the gas ovens. Except for his sister, his entire family died. Frankl himself suffered torture and innumerable indignities, never knowing from one moment to the next if his path would lead to the ovens or if he would be among the “saved” who would remove the bodies or shovel out the ashes of those so fated.

One day, naked and alone in a small room, he began to become aware of what he later called “the last of the human freedoms” freedom his Nazi captors could not take away. They could control his entire environment,  they could do what they wanted with his body, but Viktor Frankl himself was a self-aware being who would look as an observer at his very involvement. His basic identity was intact.

He could decide within himself how all of this was to affect him. Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.

In the midst of his experiences, Frankl would project himself into different circumstances, such as lecturing to his students after release from the death camps. He would describe himself in the classroom, in his mind’s eyes, and give his students the lessons of his learning during his very torture.

Through a series of such disciplines – mental, emotional, and moral, principally using memory and imagination – he exercised a small, embryonic freedom until it grew larger and larger, until he had more freedom than his Nazi captors. They had more liberty, options to choose from in their environment; but he had more freedom, more internal power to exercise his options. He became an inspiration to those around him, even to some of the guards. He helped others find meaning in their suffering and in their prison existence.

Source – Steven Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

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We all have choices. Such a simple statement. Even Viktor Frankl in his captive state recognizes that. But then why do we always like to say “I have no choice?”

Watch yourself. The next time you are tempted to say that, ask yourself “Is that really really true? That I have no choice?”

Refrain, reframe, rephrase.

Thank you for reading. 🙂

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

 

SoulFul 16 – Good or Bad, Who Knows?

good-luck-bad-luck

The Story of the Taoist Farmer

This farmer had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to condole over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “What makes you think it is so terrible?”

A month later, the horse came home–this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbors became excited at the farmer’s good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, “What makes you think this is good fortune?”

The farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, “What makes you think it is bad?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg, remained. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “What makes you think this is good?” said the farmer.

Source – Elise Hancock

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Notice how the brain is so eager to jump to conclusions? It is our constant need to find a reason for everything that is going on. But perhaps sometimes there is no need for that.

And could it be possible that it does not help the situation?

And whatever conclusions that you have decided in your head is not necessarily empowering you?

Be kind to yourself. Don’t over engage the brain.

Focus on what can be done, what is within your own power. The rest will sort itself out. 🙂

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

SoulFul 15 – Henry Ford

 

One day in 1885, the twenty-three-year old Henry Ford got his first look at the gas-powered engine, and it was instant love. He envisioned a whole new kind of horseless carriage that would revolutionize transportation. He made it his Life’s Task to be the pioneer in developing such an automobile.

Working the night shift at the Edison Illuminating Company as an engineer, during the day he would tinker with the new internal-combustion engine he was developing. By 1896 he completed his first prototype, which he called the Quadricycle, and debuted it on the streets of Detroit.

Ford’s Quadricycle looked nice and ran well, but it was too small and incomplete for large scale production. And so he began work on a second automobile, thinking ahead to the production end of the process. A year later he completed it, and it was a marvel of design. All that he needed was financial backing and sufficient capital to mass produce it.

Ford quickly found the perfect backer:  William H. Murphy, one of the most prominent businessmen in Detroit. But problems soon arose. The car Ford had designed as a prototype needed to be reworked. He kept trying to refine the design to come closer to his ideal. But it was taking far too long, and Murphy and the stockholders were getting restless. In 1901, the board of directors dissolved the company. They had lost faith in Henry Ford.

In analyzing this failure, Ford came to the conclusion that he had been trying to make his automobile serve too many consumer needs. He would try a second time, starting out with a lightweight and smaller vehicle. He convinced Murphy to give him another chance, he agreed. Right from the start, however, Ford felt the pressure from Murphy to get the automobile ready for production so as to avoid the problems he’d had with the first company. Ford resented the interference from people who knew nothing about design or the high standards he was trying to establish for the industry. Murphy and his men brought in an outsider to supervise the process.

This was the breaking point. Less than a year after its establishment, Ford left the company. The break with Murphy this time was final. In the car business, everyone wrote Henry Ford off.

But to friends and family, Ford himself seemed blithely unconcerned. He told everyone that these were all invaluable lessons to him—he had paid attention to every glitch along the way, and like a watch or an engine, he had taken apart these failures in his mind and had identified the root cause: no one was giving him enough time to work out the bugs.

The people with money were meddling in mechanical and design affairs. They were injecting their mediocre ideas into the process and polluting it.

Considering his reputation, it would be almost impossible to find backing, but several months into the search he found an ideal partner—Alexander Malcomson, who had made his fortune in the coal business.

Like Ford, he had an unconventional streak and was a risk taker. He agreed to finance this latest venture and to not meddle in the manufacturing process. Ford worked at creating a new kind of assembly plant that would give him more control over the car he wanted to design, now known as the Model A. The Model A would be the lightest car ever made, simple and durable. It was the culmination of all of his tinkering and designing.

With the assembly plant ready, he oversaw every aspect of the production—it was his car from the inside out. He even worked on the assembly line, endearing himself to the workers. Orders started pouring in for the well-made yet inexpensive Model A, and by 1904 the Ford Motor Company had to expand its operations. Soon it would be one of the few survivors from the early era of the automobile business, and a giant in the making.

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Think of it this way: There are two kinds of failure. The first comes from never trying out your ideas because you are afraid, or because you are waiting for the perfect time. This kind of failure you can never learn from, and such timidity will destroy you.

The second kind comes from a bold and venturesome spirit. If you fail in this way, the hit that you take to your reputation is greatly outweighed by what you learn. Repeated failure will toughen your spirit and show you with absolute clarity how things must be done.

In fact, it is a curse to have everything go right on your first attempt. You will fail to question the element of luck, making you think that you have the golden touch. When you do inevitably fail, it will confuse and demoralize you past the point of learning. In any case, to apprentice as an entrepreneur you must act on your ideas as early as possible, exposing them to the public, a part of you even hoping that you’ll fail. You have everything to gain.

Source – Mastery

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An entrepreneur is someone who has a vision, is not afraid to work hard and take risks.

  • What is your vision for your life?
  • What would it takes for you to realize your vision?
    How long will it take?
  • How committed are you do your vision?

Be an entrepreneur of your life.

It is for you to design. Only you can do the work.

Start today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

For Our Children (FOC) initiative