Are You Depressed?

In the U.S alone, about 15 million people suffer from depression annually. Although majority are women,

almost two-thirds do not seek help.

  • Are you among the two-thirds?
  • Are you wondering if you are depressed?
  • How do you know if you are depressed?

Given the scary statistics on women, you can understand why I feel the need to do a post on depression and women.

WOMEN AND DEPRESSION

Women are twice as likely to develop clinical depression as men. Almost up to one in four women is likely to have at least one episode of major depression at some point in life.

Meaning that

between you and three of your close girlfriends, one of you is going to have a major depression episode at some point.

Depression is common, depression is real and no it doesn’t just happen to ‘other people.’

Depression can happen to anyone, including you and me.

So then, what exactly is depression?

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?

According to Webmd,

clinical depression is a serious and pervasive mood disorder.

It causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can be mild to moderate with symptoms of apathy, little appetite, difficulty sleeping, low self-esteem, and low-grade fatigue. Or it can be more severe.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?

In women, symptoms of depression include:

  • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or a sense of ’emptiness’
  • Little or no interest or pleasure in activities, including sex
  • Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
  • Sleeping too much or too  little, middle of the night wakings
  • Loss of appetite &/ weight loss or overeating & weight gain
  • Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling ‘sluggish’
  • Contemplation of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
  • Trouble concentrating, remembering or making decisions
  • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

WHY DO WOMEN GET DEPRESSION MORE OFTEN THAN MEN?

  1. BIOLOGICAL/PHYSICAL/HORMONAL

I. Women’s Hormonal Fluctuations

The fluctuations of hormones level throughout a woman’s life have been believed to be a major factor. Hormones changes are most evident during significant periods in a woman’s life.

  • Premenstrual stress can also cause depression, anxiety and mood swings one week before menstruation.
  • Pregnancy, infertility, miscarriage, unwanted pregnancy
  • Postpartum depression
  • Perimenopause and menopause

II. Health Challenges

  • Chronic illness
  • Injury
  • Disability
  • Dieting
  • Quitting vices/addictions (e.g. alcohol, drugs, smoking)
  • Medication side effects (E.g. birth control medication, hormone replacement therapy.)

2. PSYCHOLOGICAL

I. Feelings

Women are more likely to ruminate when they are depressed. We cry to relieve our emotional tension, have negative inner dialogues and confide in friends about our depression.

The thing is,

rumination reinforces depression
and can make it worse.

II. Environmental stressors

Stress from work, school or at home can affect women more than men. Studies have shown that women are more likely to develop depression from stress, as compared to men.

Also, the female physiological response
to stress is to produce
MORE stress hormones.

The female sex hormone progesterone does not turn off the stress hormone system the way it does in men.

III. Body Image Issues

Ah, this is the bomb for women. And often, it already starts in puberty. Not only does a young girl experiences the challenges and confusion that comes with puberty, she would have already been exposed to the implicit and explicit expectations of society about women, by  observing her environment and the female figures in her life. And of course,

the impossible perfect body.

3. SOCIAL

Social factors, lifestyle choices, relationships and coping skills can become potential breeding grounds for depression as well.

  • Marital or love relationships, balancing the demands of romance, home life and career.
  • Family duties, such as caring for the spouse, the young and the aging.
  • Work challenges or discrimination at work such as skipped for a promotion or even retrenchment.
  • Death and sickness of loved ones.

4. OTHER FACTORS

Factors that can increase the chance of depression in women.

  • Genetic
  • Interpersonal
  • Psychological or personality characteristics
  • Being a single parent
  • Family history of mood disorders
  • History of mood disorders in early reproductive years
  • Loss of a parent before age 10
  • Loss of social support system or the threat of such a loss
  • Ongoing psychological and social stress
  • Physical or sexual abuse

HOW TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION

As you can see, depression is common for women,

you are not alone.

While it is challenging to be enthusiastic about resolving your depression issue while in depression, you can start with baby steps.

Here are some suggestions on what you can do to slowly move yourself out of the black vacuum that you are feeling.

I will keep this short because I would like to do a separate post on techniques to cope with depression.

  • Find a friend who can be an open and non-judgemental listener for you.

    If there is none, there are always counselors and therapists near you whom you can seek help from.

  • Physical exercise

    Be it a slow walk by the park or a vigorous kick boxing session, exercise releases endorphins, that can make you feel good and better about yourself.

  • Quality sleep

    Have at least 6-8 of sleep. Do not shortchange yourself on quality sleep that can help you to rest, repair and rejuvenate.

  • Meditate

    Make time for stillness to centered yourself back to your core again. Breath works is great too. My favorite tool is Insight App.

  • Gratitude

    Just for two minutes every night, list down the blessings that still abounds in your life. Breath and expand the sensation of gratitude in your heart.

  • Hydration

    About 60% of the human body is water. Make sure you drink enough water everyday to stay hydrated and to minimize disruptions in the bodily functions/processes. Avoid or minimize alcohol or dehydrating fluids like coffee.

  • Spiritual guidance

    Whatever is your spiritual or religious beliefs, seek constant inspiration and draw strength from it. There must be a reason why this is your spirituality, anchor on it.

  • Sunlight is your friend

    Get outdoors, breath in the fresh air, and soak in the sunlight. It will do wonders for your body, mind and spirit.

    Better still, book a session of Open-Hearted Walk with me and you get counseling plus a refreshing outdoor walk, all in one! 🙂

  • Socialize

    Be involved in social activities, meet up with your friends.  Join a new social club or interest group!

  • Get therapy

    Explore psycho-therapy, energy healing. For example, Aroma Freedom Technique is known to be a quick process that helps you process past negative feelings and memories, so that you can let go of the past and move your emotional energy into a positive direction.

  • Challenge your thoughts

    When that negative voice starts again, challenge it. Don’t just accept it. Ask for evidence for what it’s saying and think of times/evidence when it was not the case.

  • Keep going!

    Even when you don’t feel like it, still get up and moving. Continue to meet friends, walk the dog, show up for work. Keep going!

So, are you depressed?

What jumped out at you from this post?

Use this depression quiz to determine where you are.

It is important to seek support and even professional help if you are depressed. First thing first, awareness. Use the depression quiz to gain awareness.

REFERENCES:

  • https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-women#1
  • https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-in-women.htm
  • https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-in-women/index.shtml
  • https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/4-fast-mood-boosters-

Be kind to yourself today dear one.

Grab your depression quiz here.

*** If you would like to book for a coaching / counseling / Aroma Freedom Technique session with me, here is the link.

Namaste.

Story SMASHer,

Joy

~ Nurturing Resilience, Vitality and Self-love in Women ~

 

An Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT) session

Having been doing AFT sessions for others, I instinctively felt it was time to do an AFT for myself again.

AFT is a relatively new modality for many people so I understand there is probably a lot of curiosity and perhaps, even hesitation about it. Hence it might be insightful to give you a glimpse of the AFT session that I did today.

Given that it is a private AFT session for myself, I will not be revealing all my dark secrets (LOL!) but definitely enough for you to have a concrete and intimate peek at the process and what the client might be experiencing, in varying degrees and forms.

I began my AFT session with a positive affirmation made in the present tense. When I rated how possible it felt in the moment, it was a very low 2. 2/10.

The negative voice was telling me,”You are a joker. How is that possible?”

I felt a sense of heartache. I felt hurt. It was residing around my heart area. There was a rising sensation of nausea at the back of my throat.

Digging back into my past, I recalled an incident involving one of my earliest boyfriend. It was about fifteen years ago when I found out something about him, that totally broke my heart.

The memory took me off guard. Using Memory Release Blend from Young Living Essential Oils (YL), I rubbed the oils in my palms and inhaled in deeply. I felt an urge to ‘lean on’ the oils for some refuge.

I was certainly not expecting it but in a few minutes, quiet tears were welling up. Before I knew it, tears were streaking my face. A gentle wave of hurt sensation was coming up. I started to feel an ache in my stomach too. I allowed myself to cry and to feel it all.

As I continued to breath in the oils, gradually, the memory and the hurt feeling faded. A new thought came to my mind. ‘I can do this.’

Looking back at my affirmation, I rated it again. This time it was 3/10. Nothing spectacular, just one notch up. Pushing on. I felt the negative voice leering at me,”Haha. Ya right. you are a liar.”

Anger shot up in my heart. I can feel it in my chest area. And my face had tensed up. Traveling through time, to find a time where I felt the same anger in my heart, an angry episode from last night quickly ride up. It was an incident where I was accused and judged, without any chance for clarification.

Using the Belief Blend from Young Living (YL), I inhaled deeply, focusing on the feeling, the bodily sensation and the angry memory. It took a while but eventually, I felt the intensity of the anger reduced. Something in my mind said,”You do not need to let other people’s rage affect you.” Hmmm…

Revisiting my affirmation, I gave it a score again. 4/10. Clearly a process of baby steps. Moving forward. The negative voice retorted,”Give it up Joy. This is hopeless.”

I felt despair hearing those words. That feeling moved around my neck and throat area. Doing time travel again, I remember a time when I felt the same. It was a few years ago when I felt trapped in a relationship with truth stuck in my throat.

Going back to Memory Release Blend, I inhaled it all in. Tears came again. My heart ached. And then it all faded, the despair in my throat, the ache in my heart, like a faraway dream.

A new glimpse of hope came to my mind. It said “It’s (the incident) all over now.”

Glancing at my affirmation again, this time it felt like a 5/10. Another gentle step up the ladder. The negative voice said,”Alright. Be that way.” I sensed determination rising up to my heart.

I remembered feeling the same way, when I first started my pole dancing studio in 2005. Sheer determination. Belief Blend felt like the perfect partner in crime for this moment.

Inhaling the oils deeply increased my sense of determination. My mind perked up. “I have done this before. I can do it again. I will survive and thrive this.” Woohoo! I am feeling very good right now, that much is for sure!

Giving my affirmation a final rating, it is now a 6/10. It went from 2/10 – 3/10 – 4/10 – 5/10 and is now a 6/10. Wonderful!

As I meditated on my affirmation, I realized that it has morphed into another affirmation, – ‘I am resourceful, powerful, intuitive and abundant.’ I wrote down my new ally.

I have decided that the perfect power pose for this powerful new affirmation has got to be the yoga warrior pose.

I inhaled in Transformation Blend from YL and went into my power pose, verbalizing my affirmation with conviction. I did that twenty times.

I always enjoy feeling a firm shift, when I start saying it on the eleventh time onwards.

Sitting back down with a new vigor, I decided on the inspired action I will take moving forward. I shall not be too ambitious and I will just do this one task moving forward for the next five days and evaluate my progress.

That was the experience of my AFT process this afternoon. I hope you had found it insightful. Of course, it will vary from individual/affirmation to individual/affirmation.

I am feeling a little fragile, given the unexpected ride of emotions from unhappy incidents from the past. Wow, I didn’t know they still affected me.

This is what I love about AFT, it brings out negative thoughts, feelings and memories from the past, that has not yet been processed. They continue to affect you everyday, like a silent cancer.

Now that I have processed these memories, I feel uplifted too and eager to complete the task that I have set out to do.

  • Have you tried AFT yet?

  • WHAT NEGATIVE memories and feelings HAVE YOU carried with you, for years and years?

That is too exhausting dear one. Let it go.

*** Grab a free mp3 that will guide you through the 12 steps of AFT process (courtesy of Shakti on Fire Podcast).

Try an AFT session.

What do you have to lose? LOTS!

All the negative vibrations!!! LOL ;p

Book an AFT session here.

Be kind to yourself today.

*** Grab a free mp3 that will guide you through the 12 steps of AFT process (courtesy of Shakti on Fire Podcast).

P.s. Do note that Young Living oils have been recommended by Dr Perkus for the AFT process.

P.P.S. ~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~
~ Free coaching series for women at Shakti on Fire Podcast! 🙂

Namaste.
With all my Shakti love,

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZON ALERT!

Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s path to self-healing and empowerment.
Now available on Amazon and here.
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

Wonder Woman Way – Sexy Fun Empowerment Workshop for Women (Fundraising Event)

This body ~ mind ~ spirit workshop has primarily three parts to it (in order of sequence)

1. Warrior Goddess Meditation

2. Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT)

3. Bellyfit Cardio

1. WARRIOR GODDESS MEDITATION (conducted by Joy Leng)
Based on the teachings of Warrior Goddess Training (by Heather Ash Amara), certified Warrior Goddess Facilitator Joy Leng will walk you through a heart-centered meditation.

2. AROMA FREEDOM TECHNIQUE – AFT (conducted by Joy Leng)
It largely works on the subconscious. It helps to bring out suppressed negative thoughts/beliefs/feelings, clear past traumas, trapped emotions, increase intuition and gain clarity. We will be focusing on the challenges that prevent you from celebrating being a woman and standing fully in your power.

3. BELLYFIT CARDIO (conducted by Anne Elizabeth Moss)
Bellyfit® is the holistic fitness experience for women that blends the power and wisdom of ancient cultures with the research, technology and trends of the modern world.

Designed exclusively for the female body, mind and spirit, Bellyfit® offers a full body, full of spirit, extraordinary exercise experience in a safe, effective, intelligent group fitness format guaranteed to satisfy women’s desire to feel beautiful, strong and healthy.

In the first half hour of the class, burn mega calories, relieve stress and get the sweat flowing with fun, easy to learn cardio moves infused with the ancient and beautiful fundamentals of Bellydance, Bollywood and African Dance.

During the second half of the class, enjoy sculpting, toning and tightening with Pilates inspired core work, a deep yet relaxing Yoga inspired stretch and mindful Mudra Meditation.

Sign up today!

FACILITATORS BIO

ANNE MOSS
Originally from Michigan (USA), Anne has been living in Asia for 7 years while teaching English most of those years. Before moving across the world she studied and performed bellydance for more than a decade, with 3 of those years teaching bellydance in Sarnia, Canada.

She took a yoga teacher training course in India in 2014, and has been able to teach her English students during camps. In addition, she has taught adult yoga, dance and Bellyfit® in Taipei and Singapore.

She has placed in international competitions, performed in 12 countries, holds a Level 3 teaching certificate by the Korean Bellydance Association, hatha/vinyasa yoga (RYT-200), group exercise leadership ( ACE) and Bellyfit® Teacher Certifications. She has worked with Darren Ho’s Le’Mirage Bellydance company for the 2015-2016 season and currently teaches regular Bellyfit® classes in Singapore.

JOY LENG

Joy Leng is the founder of Joylight Transformational Coaching, author of ‘From Zero to Shakti’ and producer of Shakti on Fire Podcast.

She is also an ICF accredited empowerment coach and a certified warrior goddess facilitator, trained by Heather Ash Amara, a Reiki healer and an Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT) practitioner.

Being an adventurous soul, she was among the first, to start a pole dancing studio in Singapore, SensUal Joy Studio in 2005. She is a passionate latin dancer and was a professional dancer for many years before embarking on being a life coach.

She is the founder of For Our Children (FOC), an intiative set up to raise funds to build schools in developing countries. FOC has raised S$12,000 previously to help rebuild Ongkrong Primary School in Cambodia, under Tabitha Cambodia.

Her mission is to ignite kick ass lives and to empower one million women (Shaktis on FIre) to do three million good deeds by 2028.

FUND RAISING FOR FOR OUR CHILDREN (FOC)

83% of proceeds goes to FOC ($40 of every ticket).

Sign up today!

P.S. ~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~
~ Catch kick ass episodes at Shakti on Fire Podcast! 🙂

Namaste.
With all my Shakti love,

Joy
~ Igniting Kick Ass Lives ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZON ALERT!

Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s path to self-healing and empowerment.
Now available on Amazon and here.
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

FREE GIFTS

You will receive the following complimentary gifts –

  1. 3 2ml pure essential oils to use for the Aroma Freedom Technique session worth S$10
  2. A paperback copy of Joy’s autobiographical book, From Zero to Shakti worth S$20
  3. An online course, 7 Days Self Compassion Challenge worth US$25

FREE GIFTS VALUED AT US$45

Have sexy fun and ignite your inner wonder woman while doing your part for the children. It can’t get better than this.

Sign up today!

Shakti on Fire (SOF) 20 – Dance Conversation

1. Body * mind *spirit connection

If you feel bad, in a funk, things are not going well. First resolve how you feel. It is challenging to change your thinking or behavior until that happens.

Moving your body, easing away that tension goes a long well. When you can relax your body, the mind can relax too and the spirit can breath. In this new perspective, you might get the missing insight that has been evading you all this time.

2. Total Behavior

In Choice Theory, we believe in total behavior. That consists of four components – acting, thinking, feeling and physiology. Imagine total behavior as a car with two front wheels and two back wheels.

Front wheels are the ones calling the shots, which in this case, is acting and thinking. The back wheels are the ones that glide away and is harder for us to control, which in this case, is feeling and physiology.

Dance, that is acting. That is the front wheel. By gaining control of the car by acting, you also guide indirect control to guide your feeling and physiology.

Because you are moving your body, you will feel good and your physiology will change too to that of a more positive physical state.

3. Past physical successes

(Gym, walk in the park, dance lessons)

Remember how you felt in the past after an energetic workout at the gym? Or that time you had a nice long stroll in the park breathing in all the fresh air? Or the time you finished your dance class and you felt on top of the world with all the endorphins bursting in your system?

You can do that too now to feel good. 🙂

4. Energy interaction with the universe

We are all vibrations. So is the universe. When you move, when you occupy more space, your vibration changes, you interact with the universal energy out there.

In your movement, you are declaring your intention to change your state and the way you feel.

And it will happen!

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.

*** The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself. I dare you to take on the Self Compassion 7 Days Challenge and the Authentic U Quiz! Let’s start flexing our self-love muscles. Are you in or out?
P.S. Check out my 17mins podcast interview too at Love Is A Verb. 🙂
 

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.

 

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Kick Ass 1 – Daring Adventure

Helen Keller, deaf and blind, and yet inspiring generations after generations.

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.

*** The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself. I dare you to take on the Self Compassion 7 Days Challenge. Let’s start flexing our self-love muscles. Are you in or out?

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Shakti on Fire (SOF) 7- Celebrating the Goddess’ Body

Ever been taught to be ashamed of your body?

  • Ever been taught that it’s not ok to wear what you want and to ‘cover up’?
  • Ever been taught that as a woman, you need to be ‘decent’ and ‘demure’?
  • Ever been taught to be ‘coy’ and ‘modest’?

I have been. All my life.

Surrounded by implicit and explicit messages of shame.

Messages that confused me.

confused woman

My mom made sure I always wear shorts on the rare occasions I am wearing a dress or a skirt.

I grew up preferring pants and jeans because I was sick of the ‘inconveniences’ of wearing like a woman.

Because it suggests strongly that

there is something wrong with my body.

And I am to

keep it under wraps

and

be ashamed of it.

That if a woman gets raped,

it’s her fault

because she did not cover it up, she was being a

SLUT.

Yet we have magazines such as Playboy selling millions every year.

When I started SensUal Joy, one of the first pole dancing studio in Singapore in 2005, I paid the price for my insanity.

I got weird vibes from men and women. I endured all the expressions; shock, horror, indignation, disgust, lewd. You name it.

DSC_1197

And yet women who dance have been proven to feel better about their bodies.

It was ‘wrong’ to teach women

to enjoy and love their body.

DSCN4346

I’ve got to tell you,

I truly enjoy my ‘wrong.’

Because the women who came in, came ALIVE.

IMG_2088

And because I can.

What a confusing world we live in. And it’s confusing us.

Goddesses, it is time to recognize this beautiful body you were born into.

To give it tender loving care and undo the years of psychological and physical abuse you have been putting on it.

And to stop allowing others to do that to you.

This . Is . Your . Body.

Feel good about your body.

Your choice.

Own it or continue to disown it.

Without this beautiful form

that houses you

and cares for you,

there is NO humanity.

Nada.

STOP THE ABUSE.

Embrace and celebrate this wondrous goddess shrine.

riSE UP and raise other goddesses with you.

Start with you.

P.s. Clueless where or how to begin? Check out my coaching services. Let’s begin.

Here’s to your goddess-on-fire elevation!

Thanks for reading.

*** The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself. I dare you to take on the Self Compassion 7 Days Challenge. Let’s start flexing our self-love muscles. Are you in or out?

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Remember Your Goddess 4 – Pole Dancing Saved My Life

 

Kerry Derham says her life was saved by pole dancing. Picture: Helen Yates

Kerry Derham says her life was saved by pole dancing. Picture: Helen Yates Source: Getty Images

DEPRESSED, overweight and in debt, Kerry Derham was at rock bottom when she attempted suicide at just 24 years old.

One year later, Derham had dropped 32 kilograms and was sporting a new-found confidence — all thanks to pole dancing.

Derham is from Worthing in the UK, and says her troubles began at 21, when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had a portion of her cervix removed. Not long after, she ended an unhappy, volatile relationship with a boyfriend, and turned to food for comfort. Her weight ballooned from 63.5 kilograms to over 90 kilograms.

Kerry in the early days of her pole fitness career.

Kerry in the early days of her pole fitness career. Source: Getty Images

Kerry Derham, travelling in Australia in 2010.

Kerry Derham, travelling in Australia in 2010. Source: Getty Images

Derham, now 31, then lost her home, after lending money to supposed friends who left her with crippling debt.

“People who I had supported financially just disappeared and left me penniless. I couldn’t see a way out,” she says. “I had always paid all of my bills and mortgages on time, so to have bailiffs knocking on my door was horrible.”

With nowhere left to turn, Derham’s desperation drove her to slit her wrists — but the wounds weren’t deep, and she sought help from a doctor the next day.

“I didn’t want to rely on drugs or pills to make me happy,” says Derham of her doctor’s prescription for antidepressants. “I knew it was something I had to do for myself.”

Inspired by a TV ad that promoted the health and fitness benefits of pole dancing, Derham decided to give it a try.

“As soon as I tried it, I knew I was on to something,” she confesses. “I was totally addicted.

“It was challenging and it was fun, and it was my escape from everything else that was going on in my life, and I needed that.”

oon the kilos were melting off Derham’s 165 centimetre frame, and she dropped from a size 20 to a size 8 in less than a year.

“Rather than feel fat and jiggly, I felt at ease, and I didn’t feel like my body was disgusting for once,” she says.

“Pole dancing saved my life,” she says. “It makes you feel empowered and sexy and gives you such a sense of being. It makes me feel alive.”

“Pole dancing turned my life around,” she says, “and I wouldn’t change that for anything.”

Read more here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taking active steps to work on yourself is always a better option than leaning on prescriptions and drugs. But of course, there is a place for everything. Sometimes you need to have both to have a more balance treatment. But ultimately the real power lies in yourself. Do not expect anything to have any results if you do not put in any efforts.

What is it that you enjoy doing so much and feels fun &/ fulfilling?

What have you been wanting to try but has been too afraid too or simply could not find the time?

You are a goddess and for goddess sake, remember that.

Do something that brings you great joy because you have more to give when you give yourself the respect that a goddess deserves.

Remember your goddess-hood today. 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

SoulFul 10 – Jesse Jane McParland

Model | www.joyleng.com

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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Most girls of her age would be playing games with their friends or practising things they have learnt in school.

But not nine-year-old Jesse Jane McParland, who prefers playing with swords.

Despite her young age, Miss McParland is already a world champion kick boxer, with an astonishing 117 martial arts titles under her belt.

Her first movie Martial Arts Kid, also starring Cynthia Rothrock and Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson, will be released this year, and in July she will start filming a film called Awakening with teen heartthrob Zac Efron.

Now she is hoping to add Britain’s Got Talent winner to her trophy collection after impressing the judges and audience with her incredible sword-wielding audition.

Source – dailymail.co.uk
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A 9 years old who clearly knows what she wants. Did that inspire you as much as it moved me? She’s a fiery spirit in a small adorable frame. Clearly, nothing is going to stop her.
What’s stopping you from your dreams?
Take the leap of faith. Need help? Watch Jesse’s video again and scream with her!
Go for it!
Have a kick ass day! Woo haa! 🙂

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
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  • Need someone to talk to?
  • Seek clarity to your thoughts?
  • Refocus on your life goals?​​
  • Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?
Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.
The sky is only the beginning.
Email – me@joyleng.com

 

For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

RECHARGE your life source 1 – Move Your Body

Model | www.joyleng.com

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

Photographer | EC

Outfit | SensUal Wear

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“A feeling sparked in our mind-or body-will translate as a peptide being released somewhere. [Organs, tissues, skin, muscle and endocrine glands], they all have peptide receptors on them and can access and store emotional information.

This means the emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily, in the brain. You can access emotional memory anywhere in the peptide/receptor network, in any number of ways.

I think unexpressed emotions are literally lodged in the body. The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed.”

– Dr. Candace Pert, a neuropharmacologist,

Read the full article here.

Many have asked me why I considered my exotic/pole dance lessons and movement sessions with my clients as therapy. It was sparked by one defining coaching experience I had almost ten years ago when I was running SensUal Joy, my lifestyle studio for women.

A lady came to me after a very bad breakup with the first boyfriend. They have been together with 8 years. He left her for her best friend. I could see the acute pain on her face and the great tension trapped in her body. I saw how she slowly opened up like a flower and became a glowing goddess at the end of our time together. There was healing going on.

With gentle guidance, she healed herself.

With her own body.

I was humbled by the experience. I had to confess that as much as I loved my dancing, I then realized I never really understood its true powers. It went beyond physical, mechanical dancing.

It was healing of the soul and celebration of life.

Here is a great sharing by a psychologist and certified dance movement therapist at Mattel Children’s Hospital UCLA on the significance of using the body to release and reconcile with emotions.

  • Are you in some kind of emotional pain?
  • Are there unspoken words in your body?
  • Are you storing negative emotions in your body?

Go for a movement class. Be it a yoga or a salsa lesson. Whatever you feel incline towards.

Go with an open mind. Go and heal yourself. With your body.

Recharge your life source. Move.

Be well.

Read about my movement therapy session from a client.

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Here’s to your soul elevation!

​~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~

​With all my Shakti love.
Namaste,
Joy​

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AMAZON ALERT!

Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
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*** How often do you say yes when you meant no? Or say no when you meant yes? Take the free Authentic U Quiz to find out.

P.S. Check out my 17mins podcast interview too at Love Is A Verb. 

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‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.
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P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).