What can Narrative Therapy do for me?

We have all heard of the rather controversial hypnotherapy, and perhaps even the very successful cognitive behavior therapy. Even arts and movement therapy.

But narrative therapy?

What could that be?

Therapy revolving around stories?

If that was your thought process, you are absolutely right on the mark! 🙂 Narrative Therapy was developed during the 1970s and 1980s, by Australian social worker Michael White and David Epston of New Zealand.

According to Alice Morgan’s influential and highly popular text, What is narrative therapy? An easy-to-read introduction, Narrative Therapy can be about one of the following:

  • Particular ways of understanding people’s identities.
  • Certain ways of understanding problems and their effects on people’s lives.
  • Particular ways of talking with people about their lives and problems they may be experiencing, or
  • Particular ways of understanding therapeutic relationships and the ethics or politics of therapy.

The goal of narrative therapy Narrative Therapy is to be a

respectful, non-blaming approach

to counselling and community work, which centres

people as the experts in their own lives.

PRINCIPLES AND ASSUMPTIONS

1. EXTERNALIZATION

“In narrative treatment, problems are considered to be outside forces
that enter people’s lives and rewrite the basic text of who they are. ”

– Paquin, 2009:92

The beauty of externalization is that

  • it creates space for people to be able to explore new and different perspective on the issue.
  • Without the ‘blame’ conversation, it helps to ease the conflict in interpersonal relationships, in families and in the communities.
  • it avoids the problem of clients personalizing the problem, creating serious disempowering self identities and self esteem.
  • it enables a real conversation ABOUT the problem, rather than from a crippling ‘I’ perspective.

2. MULTI-STORIED LIVES

Stories are how we relate to one another, and how we create meaning for our lives. It is rich with information of the wide and varied lived experiences of our lives.

Just like we can define our main life story revolving around the fact that we were given up by our parents and adopted and therefore, a worthless individual. We can also frame our dominant story as one who rose from rags to riches, and hence a determined and successful individual .

Micheal White and David Epston (1990) explored the idea of a multi-storied version of life. That enables flexibility in the interpretations of what a person might be and defied a singular definition of a person.

3. YOU ARE THE EXPERT OF YOUR LIFE

Your narrative therapist/coach will approach your sessions with the belief that

you are the expert of your life.

Not them.

You are already skillful and competent in resolving your issues.

You inherently possess the necessary values, beliefs, skills, knowledge and abilities to manage your challenges. Your narrative therapist/coach is a non-judgmental collaborator who helps you address the problem, and to co-author a more nurturing story.

Narrative Therapy guides a person to

  • Identify their values,
  • Identify the skills, knowledge and abilities (unique qualities) that they have displayed in the past or current when undergoing hardship
  • Investigate the history of the unique qualities
  • Challenge the current dominant discourse (problem story) that is destructive
  • Co-author a more nurturing discourse to replace the problem story.

There is so much power and liberation from re-writing a disempowering stories. You will see how I rewrote my story and my sense of identity in my autobiography book, From Zero to Shakti. The title of the book says it all. 🙂

I have also experienced the power of re-authoring using Narrative Therapy and many other modalities. But

the commitment to stay
the course is vital.

Re-authoring your story also means that first and foremost, we need to discover what is the dominant story that you have been living with. While it is very apparent for some people, it is not so for others.

It is so deeply ingrained in the unconscious mind, some people have absolutely no clue.

It doesn’t matter which category you belong to,

what matters is that you begin.

That is why I created the Story SMASH!er Coaching Program that using Narrative Therapy, Aroma Freedom Technique, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, mindfulness and a whole lot of other good stuff to give you an all-rounded support in this exciting re-authoring journey. It will radically transform your life.

If you are feeling something inside, that is prompting you to experiment with Narrative Therapy, then

grab the free
Life Story Plot exercise.

It will give you a first hand taste of how NT can powerfully help you to wear a more empowering lens in life, and to reset how you feel about yourself.

Remember,

you are the light.
Seek it from within.

Be well dear one, please take a look at the Story SMASH!er Program or even the 14 Days Aroma Freedom Technique Challenge, if you want to do inner work together with pure essentials oil.

And of course, I’m here for you for coaching/therapy as always.

Be kind to yourself.

Grab your free Life Story Plot exercise here.

*** If you would like to book for a coaching / counseling / Aroma Freedom Technique session with me, here is the link.

Namaste.

Story SMASHer,

Joy

~ Nurturing Resilience, Vitality and Self-love in Women ~

 

 

Are You Depressed?

In the U.S alone, about 15 million people suffer from depression annually. Although majority are women,

almost two-thirds do not seek help.

  • Are you among the two-thirds?
  • Are you wondering if you are depressed?
  • How do you know if you are depressed?

Given the scary statistics on women, you can understand why I feel the need to do a post on depression and women.

WOMEN AND DEPRESSION

Women are twice as likely to develop clinical depression as men. Almost up to one in four women is likely to have at least one episode of major depression at some point in life.

Meaning that

between you and three of your close girlfriends, one of you is going to have a major depression episode at some point.

Depression is common, depression is real and no it doesn’t just happen to ‘other people.’

Depression can happen to anyone, including you and me.

So then, what exactly is depression?

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?

According to Webmd,

clinical depression is a serious and pervasive mood disorder.

It causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can be mild to moderate with symptoms of apathy, little appetite, difficulty sleeping, low self-esteem, and low-grade fatigue. Or it can be more severe.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?

In women, symptoms of depression include:

  • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or a sense of ’emptiness’
  • Little or no interest or pleasure in activities, including sex
  • Restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
  • Sleeping too much or too  little, middle of the night wakings
  • Loss of appetite &/ weight loss or overeating & weight gain
  • Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling ‘sluggish’
  • Contemplation of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
  • Trouble concentrating, remembering or making decisions
  • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

WHY DO WOMEN GET DEPRESSION MORE OFTEN THAN MEN?

  1. BIOLOGICAL/PHYSICAL/HORMONAL

I. Women’s Hormonal Fluctuations

The fluctuations of hormones level throughout a woman’s life have been believed to be a major factor. Hormones changes are most evident during significant periods in a woman’s life.

  • Premenstrual stress can also cause depression, anxiety and mood swings one week before menstruation.
  • Pregnancy, infertility, miscarriage, unwanted pregnancy
  • Postpartum depression
  • Perimenopause and menopause

II. Health Challenges

  • Chronic illness
  • Injury
  • Disability
  • Dieting
  • Quitting vices/addictions (e.g. alcohol, drugs, smoking)
  • Medication side effects (E.g. birth control medication, hormone replacement therapy.)

2. PSYCHOLOGICAL

I. Feelings

Women are more likely to ruminate when they are depressed. We cry to relieve our emotional tension, have negative inner dialogues and confide in friends about our depression.

The thing is,

rumination reinforces depression
and can make it worse.

II. Environmental stressors

Stress from work, school or at home can affect women more than men. Studies have shown that women are more likely to develop depression from stress, as compared to men.

Also, the female physiological response
to stress is to produce
MORE stress hormones.

The female sex hormone progesterone does not turn off the stress hormone system the way it does in men.

III. Body Image Issues

Ah, this is the bomb for women. And often, it already starts in puberty. Not only does a young girl experiences the challenges and confusion that comes with puberty, she would have already been exposed to the implicit and explicit expectations of society about women, by  observing her environment and the female figures in her life. And of course,

the impossible perfect body.

3. SOCIAL

Social factors, lifestyle choices, relationships and coping skills can become potential breeding grounds for depression as well.

  • Marital or love relationships, balancing the demands of romance, home life and career.
  • Family duties, such as caring for the spouse, the young and the aging.
  • Work challenges or discrimination at work such as skipped for a promotion or even retrenchment.
  • Death and sickness of loved ones.

4. OTHER FACTORS

Factors that can increase the chance of depression in women.

  • Genetic
  • Interpersonal
  • Psychological or personality characteristics
  • Being a single parent
  • Family history of mood disorders
  • History of mood disorders in early reproductive years
  • Loss of a parent before age 10
  • Loss of social support system or the threat of such a loss
  • Ongoing psychological and social stress
  • Physical or sexual abuse

HOW TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION

As you can see, depression is common for women,

you are not alone.

While it is challenging to be enthusiastic about resolving your depression issue while in depression, you can start with baby steps.

Here are some suggestions on what you can do to slowly move yourself out of the black vacuum that you are feeling.

I will keep this short because I would like to do a separate post on techniques to cope with depression.

  • Find a friend who can be an open and non-judgemental listener for you.

    If there is none, there are always counselors and therapists near you whom you can seek help from.

  • Physical exercise

    Be it a slow walk by the park or a vigorous kick boxing session, exercise releases endorphins, that can make you feel good and better about yourself.

  • Quality sleep

    Have at least 6-8 of sleep. Do not shortchange yourself on quality sleep that can help you to rest, repair and rejuvenate.

  • Meditate

    Make time for stillness to centered yourself back to your core again. Breath works is great too. My favorite tool is Insight App.

  • Gratitude

    Just for two minutes every night, list down the blessings that still abounds in your life. Breath and expand the sensation of gratitude in your heart.

  • Hydration

    About 60% of the human body is water. Make sure you drink enough water everyday to stay hydrated and to minimize disruptions in the bodily functions/processes. Avoid or minimize alcohol or dehydrating fluids like coffee.

  • Spiritual guidance

    Whatever is your spiritual or religious beliefs, seek constant inspiration and draw strength from it. There must be a reason why this is your spirituality, anchor on it.

  • Sunlight is your friend

    Get outdoors, breath in the fresh air, and soak in the sunlight. It will do wonders for your body, mind and spirit.

    Better still, book a session of Open-Hearted Walk with me and you get counseling plus a refreshing outdoor walk, all in one! 🙂

  • Socialize

    Be involved in social activities, meet up with your friends.  Join a new social club or interest group!

  • Get therapy

    Explore psycho-therapy, energy healing. For example, Aroma Freedom Technique is known to be a quick process that helps you process past negative feelings and memories, so that you can let go of the past and move your emotional energy into a positive direction.

  • Challenge your thoughts

    When that negative voice starts again, challenge it. Don’t just accept it. Ask for evidence for what it’s saying and think of times/evidence when it was not the case.

  • Keep going!

    Even when you don’t feel like it, still get up and moving. Continue to meet friends, walk the dog, show up for work. Keep going!

So, are you depressed?

What jumped out at you from this post?

Use this depression quiz to determine where you are.

It is important to seek support and even professional help if you are depressed. First thing first, awareness. Use the depression quiz to gain awareness.

REFERENCES:

  • https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-women#1
  • https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-in-women.htm
  • https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-in-women/index.shtml
  • https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/4-fast-mood-boosters-

Be kind to yourself today dear one.

Grab your depression quiz here.

*** If you would like to book for a coaching / counseling / Aroma Freedom Technique session with me, here is the link.

Namaste.

Story SMASHer,

Joy

~ Nurturing Resilience, Vitality and Self-love in Women ~

 

An Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT) session

Having been doing AFT sessions for others, I instinctively felt it was time to do an AFT for myself again.

AFT is a relatively new modality for many people so I understand there is probably a lot of curiosity and perhaps, even hesitation about it. Hence it might be insightful to give you a glimpse of the AFT session that I did today.

Given that it is a private AFT session for myself, I will not be revealing all my dark secrets (LOL!) but definitely enough for you to have a concrete and intimate peek at the process and what the client might be experiencing, in varying degrees and forms.

I began my AFT session with a positive affirmation made in the present tense. When I rated how possible it felt in the moment, it was a very low 2. 2/10.

The negative voice was telling me,”You are a joker. How is that possible?”

I felt a sense of heartache. I felt hurt. It was residing around my heart area. There was a rising sensation of nausea at the back of my throat.

Digging back into my past, I recalled an incident involving one of my earliest boyfriend. It was about fifteen years ago when I found out something about him, that totally broke my heart.

The memory took me off guard. Using Memory Release Blend from Young Living Essential Oils (YL), I rubbed the oils in my palms and inhaled in deeply. I felt an urge to ‘lean on’ the oils for some refuge.

I was certainly not expecting it but in a few minutes, quiet tears were welling up. Before I knew it, tears were streaking my face. A gentle wave of hurt sensation was coming up. I started to feel an ache in my stomach too. I allowed myself to cry and to feel it all.

As I continued to breath in the oils, gradually, the memory and the hurt feeling faded. A new thought came to my mind. ‘I can do this.’

Looking back at my affirmation, I rated it again. This time it was 3/10. Nothing spectacular, just one notch up. Pushing on. I felt the negative voice leering at me,”Haha. Ya right. you are a liar.”

Anger shot up in my heart. I can feel it in my chest area. And my face had tensed up. Traveling through time, to find a time where I felt the same anger in my heart, an angry episode from last night quickly ride up. It was an incident where I was accused and judged, without any chance for clarification.

Using the Belief Blend from Young Living (YL), I inhaled deeply, focusing on the feeling, the bodily sensation and the angry memory. It took a while but eventually, I felt the intensity of the anger reduced. Something in my mind said,”You do not need to let other people’s rage affect you.” Hmmm…

Revisiting my affirmation, I gave it a score again. 4/10. Clearly a process of baby steps. Moving forward. The negative voice retorted,”Give it up Joy. This is hopeless.”

I felt despair hearing those words. That feeling moved around my neck and throat area. Doing time travel again, I remember a time when I felt the same. It was a few years ago when I felt trapped in a relationship with truth stuck in my throat.

Going back to Memory Release Blend, I inhaled it all in. Tears came again. My heart ached. And then it all faded, the despair in my throat, the ache in my heart, like a faraway dream.

A new glimpse of hope came to my mind. It said “It’s (the incident) all over now.”

Glancing at my affirmation again, this time it felt like a 5/10. Another gentle step up the ladder. The negative voice said,”Alright. Be that way.” I sensed determination rising up to my heart.

I remembered feeling the same way, when I first started my pole dancing studio in 2005. Sheer determination. Belief Blend felt like the perfect partner in crime for this moment.

Inhaling the oils deeply increased my sense of determination. My mind perked up. “I have done this before. I can do it again. I will survive and thrive this.” Woohoo! I am feeling very good right now, that much is for sure!

Giving my affirmation a final rating, it is now a 6/10. It went from 2/10 – 3/10 – 4/10 – 5/10 and is now a 6/10. Wonderful!

As I meditated on my affirmation, I realized that it has morphed into another affirmation, – ‘I am resourceful, powerful, intuitive and abundant.’ I wrote down my new ally.

I have decided that the perfect power pose for this powerful new affirmation has got to be the yoga warrior pose.

I inhaled in Transformation Blend from YL and went into my power pose, verbalizing my affirmation with conviction. I did that twenty times.

I always enjoy feeling a firm shift, when I start saying it on the eleventh time onwards.

Sitting back down with a new vigor, I decided on the inspired action I will take moving forward. I shall not be too ambitious and I will just do this one task moving forward for the next five days and evaluate my progress.

That was the experience of my AFT process this afternoon. I hope you had found it insightful. Of course, it will vary from individual/affirmation to individual/affirmation.

I am feeling a little fragile, given the unexpected ride of emotions from unhappy incidents from the past. Wow, I didn’t know they still affected me.

This is what I love about AFT, it brings out negative thoughts, feelings and memories from the past, that has not yet been processed. They continue to affect you everyday, like a silent cancer.

Now that I have processed these memories, I feel uplifted too and eager to complete the task that I have set out to do.

  • Have you tried AFT yet?

  • WHAT NEGATIVE memories and feelings HAVE YOU carried with you, for years and years?

That is too exhausting dear one. Let it go.

*** Grab a free mp3 that will guide you through the 12 steps of AFT process (courtesy of Shakti on Fire Podcast).

Try an AFT session.

What do you have to lose? LOTS!

All the negative vibrations!!! LOL ;p

Book an AFT session here.

Be kind to yourself today.

*** Grab a free mp3 that will guide you through the 12 steps of AFT process (courtesy of Shakti on Fire Podcast).

P.s. Do note that Young Living oils have been recommended by Dr Perkus for the AFT process.

P.P.S. ~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~
~ Free coaching series for women at Shakti on Fire Podcast! 🙂

Namaste.
With all my Shakti love,

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZON ALERT!

Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s path to self-healing and empowerment.
Now available on Amazon and here.
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

Shakti on Fire Free Coaching 4 Parts Series

Shakti on Fire Sparks 4 Parts Series

The objective of this free coaching series is to give you a taster of how Ignite! Shakti Training (IST) will be like. You have a choice

  • To go straight into IST or
  • To start off first with this free coaching and continue your journey with IST.

Either way, just get started! 🙂

Hopefully after your training, you will also feel inspired to be a part of the 1 million Shaktis, 3 million Sparks vision.

It simply means taking the Shakti on Fire Empowerment Pledge to do three empowerment projects of your choice for family, community and humanity. 🙂

HOW DOES IT WORK?

  1. This free coaching series consists of 4 action books related to the four sparks of Shakti on Fire training, which is
  • Authenticity
  • Intuition
  • Pl@y! and
  • Power

The accompanying podcast episodes guide you through the action books and the main concepts in it. And of course, if you want private coaching through the process, or to add other healing and therapeutic processes to it, such as Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT), that is available too.

Ultimately it is up to you how far, and how thorough you want to dive into your Shakti journey.

Grab your free coaching series here.

I will be here cheering you on,

every step of the way. 🙂

SO,

Have you listened to all the episodes and grab your action books yet?

This free coaching series is my gift of love to you.

This is my way of

honouring the Shakti

that you truly are.

Grab your free coaching series here.

Take my guiding hand and let’s get you started on your way back home, to the Divine Feminine within.

Grab your free coaching series here.

Honoured to be part of your soul-volution.

With all my blessings and love,

Namaste my dear Shakti.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contact –

Website – www.joyleng.com

Online Courses/Coaching Services | Be My Affiliate – joylight.teachable.com

Email: me (at) joyleng.com

FB – Joy Leng

Twitter: @joyleng
Instagram: @shaktionfire | @joyleng

My Request –

Please rate and review the show on iTunes!

That will mean a lot to me.

2. Click on left corner, View in iTunes (below the image)
3. Click on Ratings and Review.
Thank you so much!

Support the show with just $5!

 

 

 

Shakti on Fire (SOF) Walk the Talk, An Open-Hearted Walk with Joy

http://joylight.teachable.com/p/walk-talk-sg

~ FOR WOMEN ~

Hello there,

My name is Joy.

I am an ICF accreditated life coach, with a BA in psycholgy, and trained in Choice Theory/Reality Therapy.

Recently, I wrote a book, From Zero to Shakti.

It is about my life story, of how depression and a sense of loneliness and unworthiness have occupied a big part of my life. And the multiple inauthentic relationships that I have allowed myself to go through.

So yes, I have been there.

In fact, that is why I underwent all the years of psychology and coaching training that I did.

So that I can help others who are going through similar situations.

Based on the Singapore Mental Health Study conducted in 2010 by Institute of Medical Health, as many as 1 in 17 people have suffered from Major Depressive Disorder at some time in their life.

We can stop this modern day phenomenon.

By taking early steps in taking care of our mental health. And those of our loved ones.

  • FEELING ALL COPED UP?
  • HAVE EMOTIONS YOU FIND HARD TO EXPRESS?
  • DON’T KNOW WHO YOU CAN TALK TO?
  • HAVE PLANS YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN?

You are at the right place.

Are you

– In Singapore?

– Have issues you want to sort out?

– Need to clarify confusing feelings?

– Want to process a recent disturbing event?

– Looking for a trained and compassionate coach?

– Knows someone who is?

Book Your Open Hearted Walk with Me.

It is easy to get lost in our mental plane and be overwhelmed with the negative emotions that we are feeling.

By walking with me as you open up your heart,

– we engage your physical body to help keep you in the present moment.

Talking to a non-judgemental and trained individual,

– Who is wholly here to listen and to be with you,

– Will help you feel heard and

– To release the intense energy that is trapped within you.

This process gently guides you,

– To process and acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.

With that deeper self awareness,

– We can work towards planning your next thoughtful steps.

By taking this walk with me, it means

 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You be surprised about how you feel and the insights you can get.

Take an open hearted walk with me.

HOW?

– Once payment is confirmed, I will contact you to schedule

– One hour walk/coaching

– Bay area outside Marina Bay Sands and Fullerton Bay Hotel

– Includes short breath works and visualization

– Subject to changes depending on the weather and area conditions

– The walk is valid for 3 months from the date of purchase.

Book your open hearted walk with me here.

A GIFT OF LOVE

  • Worried about someone dear to you?
  • Not sure how to reach out?
  • Book an open-hearted walk for your loved one.

Let’s help someone smile again.

Book an open hearted walk for a loved one.


HAPPY BONUSES!!

To support you further on your path to healing, I will be giving you


– A free ecopy of my latest book, From Zero to Shakti (Worth US$4.99)


– 7 Days Self Compassion Challenge (E-course format) (Worth US$25)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOTAL BONUSES worth US$30

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Book Your Open Hearted Walk Today.

Namaste.

Blessings,

Joy

PLEASE NOTE THAT –

– This is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen.

– I reserve the right to cancel or postpone the walk in my sole discretion.

Feeling suicidal?

Call Samaritans of Singapore at 1800-221 4444

Authentic U 25 – Are You on the Witness Stand?

When you read Christian scriptures or even the Buddhist texts, often they talk about peace, the ever-lasting sort. They claim that such peace is possible, even in times of trauma and turmoil.

Does that make sense to you?

I have pondered about it many times in my life. It was just lost on me. Until recently that is. Because I was no longer coming from an intellectual place, for the first time, I felt it in me. And it felt good.

No matter where you are in life, it is always full of ups and downs. New relationships have calibration issues, mature relationships have lingering resentments and possibly even unexpected unpleasant revelations.

Anything new in your life can be intimidating and anything old can feel like stale bread

and you crave for a change. Like tiramisu.

I had challenging relationships all my life. We all do. It could be with our partner, our parents, our boss, our best friend, so on. In those intense moments,

it can feel just utterly hopeless.

You are flooded with anger, outrage, hurt, shock and other ugly emotions. Your mind starts to wonder about the point of it all. You struggle to control your runaway screaming mind and your tornado emotions.

Whatever happened to everlasting peace?

And yet, recently, despite the whole internal drama I might be feeling, I could, at the same time, feel a sense of serenity.

It’s like I’m watching a movie unfolds,

as I play the main lead.

Uncanny and surreal. But it is my new experience.

On one hand, I feel the rush of my disaster mind and the avalanche of my negative emotions. On the other hand, because I feel the peace, it makes the drama on the ‘other’ side more bearable and almost distanced.

The fact that I felt this peace indicates that even in the moment I felt all the negativity, I also recognize that was just another miniscule episode in my life.

This, too, shall pass.

Sometimes it does not mean that there are no impending potentially drastic situations. It just means me, the witness, is also present.

The bearer of everlasting peace!

That many ‘drastic’ circumstances in life, turns out, either not so drastic after all, or a precious learning opportunity where I grow and evolve ever more as a soul, housed in a body.

That’s the true source of everlasting peace.

It comes from being the witness of your life.

Taking the witness stand literally. By cultivating that space, that awareness, the ability to witness your own life’s situations as it unfolds, and to feel what you feel in the moment while recognizing that this moment will be gone just like that, like it had never happened.

This anger, this pain, this hurt, this outrage. It comes or goes as long as you want it to. Literally. The witness in you recognize that.

Is your witness present today?

Can your witness attend trial to bear witness to the truth of your day, moment by moment?

Learning to activate your witness takes lots of time and patience. Be very loving to yourself as you get started on this practice.

But please, get started.

Your witness is a very powerful part of you, who activates profound peace in your life.

Take the witness stand.

And watch peace and joy unfold in your life.

​P.S. ~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~

Namaste.
With all my Shakti love,

Joy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZON ALERT!

Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

P.S. Why did I describe my life as a blank canvas? Check out my 10mins podcast interview at The Tao of Confidence. 

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.
~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Kick Ass 12- Mistakes are Diamonds in the Rough

Last week I took part in a Bachata bootcamp in the Singapore International Latin Festival. The catch here was that we had to perform after the bootcamp.

That was scary

but I thought it would be a good push factor.

I was looking forward to the bootcamp because I have loved this dance form for a long time now and

I have finally took the leap of courage

to learn it properly. I went to the first training session, eager to absorb whatever techniques the instructors were going to teach.

Strange enough, we went straight into learning the performance choreography right after our warm up. I was confused. Slowly but surely, the truth crept up on me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no teaching in the bootcamp. It was strictly only preparation for the performance.

My blood went cold.

My second confusion was regarding the standard of the dance steps. These were not beginner’s steps. There was no way a beginner will be able to cope with it. In fact, one husband and wife couple backed out immediately on the first day.

The second truth dawned on me. This was NOT a beginner’s bootcamp. Oh. My. Goddess.

What have I done?!

I did my best to stay calm and tried desperately to remember the steps. The song was fast and the steps were never repeated. It was a serious dance item.

We learnt half the song in our first session. We only had three sessions with our instructors and then its performance time.

Sheer insanity had just invaded my life.

We had three hours in the first session to learn half the song, two hours next to learn the second half, followed by one hour of stage rehearsal. And then it’s showtime.

I am no longer sure what to do with myself.

I stumbled home on the first night. Physically exhausted, brain dead and still in a state of shock. I was trying to process what had just transpired.

This, was a very bad mistake.

How am I ever going to survive this?

I felt so tortured in my mind, swinging back and fro, as to whether I have what it takes to do this. To perform a dance item, which was above my current abilities, in front of mostly trained eyes in latin dance, was not something I was relishing to do.

But here I am in this bootcamp. In fact, the countdown had started ticking.

How am I going to rectify this mistake?

With fear and doubt in my heart, I planned a strategy.

I was going to look at the instructional video for the next few days, right before I sleep and first thing in the morning when I wake.

Also, I am going to practise for an hour by myself everyday before I go for group practice. That’s a total of three hours private practice. Not a lot but

hopefully it can make a difference.

I stuck very closely to that strategy. It was still a tedious, uphill task. My body was not used to this dance form at all and some parts of the choreography are very similar. I had to make sure I don’t get confused.

But I was confused.

Constantly.

During the final rehearsal, it was decided that my partner and I would be standing in the front line.

The stakes just kept piling up!

I felt slightly better with every training session, but never better enough to feel that I have nailed it. On top of it, I was going for workshops, that were conducted in the latin festival. It was exhausting. My feet hurt and my big toes threatened to fall off.

During the final stage rehearsal, I learnt that I was doing one of the turns the wrong way. Oh. My. Goddess. It was going to be very obvious if I don’t turn the same way with the rest, especially with me standing in front. My body does not remember it that way. I just somehow have to remember it.

I will and I must!

Worried and panicky, I rushed home to take a shower and rushed back to do my make up and hair. We were the second item for the night, we did not have much time at all.

In the back stage, looking out to the audience,

my stomach felt like it had been stabbed.

This is it Joy. This is it.

Come what may. And it came. It wasn’t the best performance of my life. I forgot some small parts but it wouldn’t be obvious unless you are a Bachata dancer yourself. I clearly had no sense of the dance form. I never did.

But I did it.

It was done.

As we walked off the stage, my tears welled up quickly. The sheer pressure from the last few days had manifested itself in my eyes. Oh. My. Goddess. For whatever it was worth, I did it.

I did it! I survived it!

I went from considering this bootcamp

a terrible mistake to thinking how wonderful it is,

that I had no clue that this is not a beginner’s bootcamp when I signed up. That was the only way I would be willing to sign up!

I felt like a stone being refined by the fire. It had been so painful but

I came out sparkling and proud,

like a diamond in the rough.

I don’t feel the same. I am not the same.

I made a mistake and

I glowed as a result of it.

Today, I am walking around as a fuller version of myself, humbled and inspired by myself. I was reminded of how much potential I had when I am

willing to get very uncomfortable and

out of my comfort zone.

What have you been waiting to do but have always made excuses?

Nothing is a guarantee. But nothing happens if you don’t take take that leap of faith. I am not saying that it is going to be easy, but it is going to be so worth it.

Don’t be afraid of mistakes, they are your allies.

With your faith and perseverance, they will help you to shine like diamonds in the sky.

Dear diamond in the rough,

it’s time to walk into the refining fire.

See you in the sky.

~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~

Your Kick Ass Coach,

Joy

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


AMAZON ALERT!


Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*** How often do you say yes when you meant no? Or say no when you meant yes? Take the free Authentic U Quiz to find out.

P.S. Check out my 17mins podcast interview too at Love Is A Verb. 

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.

 

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Kick Ass 11 – Vision Board Magic

In the cycles of our lives, there will be some beginnings that will seem to come with beautiful promises. An excited air of anticipation is the general atmosphere.

While it is definitely well and good to be motivated by the delicious waft of new possibilities, it is important to remind ourselves that

nothing happens without

intention and commitment.

Oh, what a downer. But it isn’t. It means you get to play again, take out the blank canvas and dream.

  • What medium would you like to use?
  • What would you like to draw?
  • What kind of colour would you be using?

Possibilities are infinite.

The blank space is inviting you to

fill it up with what inspires you.

This is exactly how I view vision boards. They are such a powerful tool to employ in the beginning phases of our lives. You will have to use your mind to decide what are your goals for the way forward.

Investigate what  inspires you and is worth your time and effort. You prioritize them and manifest that on your vision board.

As I started drawing on mine, I just got more and more excited. There is so much power in seeing what I had been thinking about on paper. And to use the different colours served to

emphasize and affirm what is important to me.

I observed the same response from my clients. As I guide them to imagine and to claim what they want to be theirs within the projected timeline,

their eyes sparkled.

It was so intoxicating for me to watch someone else weave their dreams into their vision board. Truly magical.

When it was all done, I heaved a sigh of relief and contentment. It felt like a huge brain dump. Except that what I was releasing out, were very pleasing things that were close to my heart.

As I took a careful look at my entire vision board, my heart started singing. It was almost too much to bear to gaze at all that I desire in one glance. I felt true soul magic at work.

I also felt the newfound determination

from myself to see to all its completion.

One of my clients thanked me and shared that the vision board had helped her resolve a lingering dilemma for the last two weeks. She was considering a study bond from her company, which was a very crucial step for her.

In the course of drawing out her intentions for her work, she suddenly realized that the answer from her heart was a yes.

All the fears and concerns that had kept her immobile all these time, melted away.

Such magic!

I also have several potent secret weapons in my version of vision board magic that I use for myself and which I share with my coaching clients as well.

This adds an alchemical element to the vision board that helps it to become more accessible in daily life. After all, you can’t go everywhere with your vision board.

Magic amplification.

Vision board magic, are you on board?

~~~~~~~~

Participants say ~

‘Thank you for the clarity. It helps to build the foundation to grow my business in 2017.’
– Matt Mitchell, President of interTouch

‘It’s one thing to think about what you want to do, your future and visions. It is another to follow through and to fulfill your vision. I really love the little prompts given by Joy help work it thorough and spend 2017 in a fruitful and successful manner. Thank you Joy and Rimi!’ – G.C

‘I’ve always had these thoughts and knew what I had to do. But writing it all down helped me to see it clearer and made me realized that certain things were taking too much of my time. Time to prioritize!’ – Rosanne

‘The journey to discover my vision board with Joy helps me to have a concrete picture of my next steps ahead. Not just grounding me, but also giving me the confidence to welcome what’s coming up in the path that I am taking. Thanks Joy 🙏’ – Chui, private coachee

‘Prioritization in Progress. Thanks.’ – Grace

~~~~~~~~

P.s. Sign up for the next Vision Board Magic Workshop in Singapore.

OR sign up now for Vision Board Magic Webinar!

Your Kick Ass Coach,

Joy

P.s.s. ~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here. ~

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMAZON ALERT!


Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

P.S. Why did I describe my life as a blank canvas? Check out my 10mins podcast interview at The Tao of Confidence. 

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.

 

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Shakti on Fire (SOF) 30 -For the Love of Moon

I have always been fascinated with the moon. As a young girl, I found it so amazing that it was always there, wherever I go, regardless of which country I am in. I thought that it must be that I am so special that the moon wants to follow me wherever I go.  🙂

As I grew up, into a rational, practical and no-nonsense modern woman, the moon became a forgotten backdrop in my life. Until Shamanism found me. It is utterly regrettably for me to say that I know I am not the only one among many women, who has fallen into this category.

But it is never too late to appreciate nature and what it lovingly bestows to us, regardless of whether we are appreciative or not.

Mother Nature is always here, waiting.

The moon has always been such an alluring aspect of Nature. So much so that she has inspired thousands of poets through the ages, to weave their experiences of her, into words.

Even in television shows, it is not uncommon to see the moon being featured to indicate a certain mood. Because indeed,

the moon is bewitching to the eye

and invites introspection.

I am drawn more and more to the moon in the last few months. I tried in a half-hearted fashion, to participate in some meaningful full moon activity whenever it occurs.

I have decided to do away with my half-hearted attitude and to formally invite the waning and the waxing of the moon into my life. And it

feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.

After all, why not?

I wane and wax as a woman every month,

just like the moon.

I am as magical as the moon, and I hold the same mysterious power as her.

Haven’t you ever marvel at your body, that it has a cycle of its own?

Just like Mother Nature!

Modern society promotes heavy linear thinking.

But life is far from linear, it is cyclical.

We start and end with the cycle of life and death, just like other animals and plants. Even the weather is in obedience of the four seasons. Look around and the truth is everywhere.

We are a part of wondrous nature. Especially women with our own menstrual cycles. So

celebrate the power of the moon,

as you would the power of your feminine nature.

Take advantage of the different moon energies that is set in motion every day and every month.

How do we know of that?

Of course we do,

don’t you feel differently every day and every month depending on your own cycle?

New Moon is for the birthing of your wishes and desires. Define what that is for you and declare it. Do a simple new moon ritual and repeat it whenever it is a new moon. Allow the moon to be your faithful monthly guide.

Let her help you find

clarity and purpose for your path.

Full Moon is a time for

cleansing, creation, completion and relinquishment.

Decide what is not serving you and release it. It is also a time to wrap it up, what is almost completed but was neglected, or what decisions were meant to be made but still remain in mid-air.

As surely as the sun rises from the east, that is as surely as the moon wanes and waxes. Hence the moon can be your trusty guide to remind you every month, to

keep cleaning your life,

clearing old energies to set new ones in motion.

So for the love of moon, stick closely to your loving and reliable guide from nature and manifest your best year ahead.

~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~

With all my Shakti love.

Namaste,

Joy

Here’s to your soul elevation!

*** Take the first step to your GOALS here!

P.S. Why did I describe my life as a blank canvas? Check out my 10mins podcast interview at The Tao of Confidence. 

Thanks for reading​.​​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


AMAZON ALERT!


Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.
~~~~~~~~

P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).

Kick Ass 10 – The All is in the All

As a young child who found out that she was adopted, my world went pitch black in an instant. I even attempted suicide once. I thought I was not loved, not wanted.

As a child, it is understandable to feel that way. After all, you are completely dependent on your family and the adults around you to support and sustain you in every way until you are capable of taking care of yourself.

But now as adults,

are we still behaving

like the young child that we were?

Looking outside for love, for support, for approval and for validation?

I would suggest that, many of us, including myself, are still guilty of it.

Being a part of a community and having a close circle of family or friends are paramount for sound mental health. But there is one truth that we must hold tightly and fiercely to, that

the true first source of all vital spiritual resources lies within.

The all is in the all.

All that you will ever need in life; love, authenticity, wisdom, courage, strength, faith, and all such goodness are

already inside ourselves.

Our circle of support serves to complement and enhance what we already carry within.

  • Who can truly love you if you don’t love yourself?
  • Who can be your best counsel other than your inner sage?
  • Who demonstrate more faith to you, for you, than you?

Remember, the all is in the all.

All these magnificent spiritual power that often lies dormant in your soul exists within all those around you as well. We all possess these qualities. It is

inherent in our birthright.

What’s most exciting is when one remembers his/her magnificence and demonstrates it, we then

command and activate

what’s latent and deep in ourselves

to do our life’s work .

Whenever we celebrate others’ triumphs and manifestation of their true selves, let that too, serve as a vital reminder, of the

magnificence within ourselves.

After all, the all is in the all.

Remember all of you.

And how all of you can powerfully light the path for your chosen destiny, whatever you want it to be.

And how when that happens, you give others

permission to shine the all of them,

to set the whole world ablaze,

with all of the best qualities in us.

~ Get your free Step 1 of Let’s Step! Goal Setting Program and my latest kick ass updates here.​ ~

Your Kick Ass Coach,

Joy

Here’s to your soul elevation!

Thanks for reading.​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AMAZON ALERT!


Check out my brand new book ‘From Zero to Shakti’
A woman’s search for rebirth and redemption.
Now available on Amazon Kindle!
Review on Amazon –
‘The author is very brave, disclosing her personal challenges and the solutions she created. I admire her unselfish sharing, and her courage in undertaking her personal quest.
She traveled a long distance to a special place, and even braved a fire walk–something difficult to imagine. She tells her story in an absorbing way. This book is charming.’

– Shearon B (Australia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*** How often do you say yes when you meant no? Or say no when you meant yes? Take the free Authentic U Quiz to find out.

P.S. Check out my 17mins podcast interview too at Love Is A Verb. 

Your Transformational Coach,

Joy Leng

~~~~~~~

‘Empowering heart-centered women since 2005’

“I met Joy and was immediately struck by her vibrant energy.

She is a compassionate person with a quick mind, and I found her coaching to be skillful and intuitive.

If you ever need coaching, I would recommend you see her: not only will she help sort you out, she will be your cheerleader every step of the way!”
– Rimi Yoshida

Check out coaching with Joy.

 

~~~~~~~~


P.S. Have you downloaded your FREE

Ready to serve if you
  • Desire momentum and accountability to achieve your life goals.
  • Want to take advantage of DiSC personality profiling to understand your/your team’s strengths and to maximize productivity and harmony.
  • Are looking for an inspiring storyteller sharing truths from real life experience..

Book a FREE 20 minutes Skype session at me (at) joyleng.com for

  • Yourself or
  • For someone you feel who is in need of an empowerment coach.

10% of my net profit goes to support For Our Children (FOC).